Rhino Rampage

Actually, there are some positive aspects to being a rhinoceros. For one thing, you are now impressively big and brawny. Your sharp thick horns, combined with your tough skin and awesome muscle mass, make you one tough customer. No way are those bullies at school going to mess with you NOW! Also, your senses of smell and hearing have been greatly enhanced.

On the other hand, your vision is permanently blurred, you�ve lost your opposable thumbs and the ability to speak, and you�ll probably spend the rest of your life in a zoo or wild animal park.

All in all, you decide, the negatives outweigh the positives.

�You ridiculous rodent!� you bellow at the squirrel. �Look at what you�ve done to me!� Actually, that�s what you�d have liked to say to the squirrel. What you actually say sounds more like �Hrrrmph! Waaahhh! Rrrkk!�

�Settow down,� the squirrel cries. �I made you a wino foh a weason. Just wisten to me.�

You, however, are in no mood for settling down or listening to reason. What you are in the mood for is a little squirrel stomping. Snorting viciously, you raise your massive three-toed foot high, prepared to crush the fuzzy little idiot into a bloody stain.

�No!� the squirrel screams. A split second later it leaps aside, barely avoiding your foot as it crashes to the ground with an earth-shaking STOMP! With mounting rage, you raise your foot again for a second attempt.

�Pwease!� the squirrel pleads piteously, scampering about wildly but not running away. �Youh fatheh is in twouble! And onwy you can wescue him!�

STOMP! A second time your foot embeds itself in the earth with murderous fury. A second time the squirrel barely avoids being flattened.

�Why won�t you wisten?!� the squirrel shrieks, tears of frustration running down its furry cheeks. �I said...�

STOMP! This time your foot finds its target. With a pathetic squeak (and a satisfying crunch), the squirrel is pulverized underfoot. You grin victoriously, twisting your foot into the soil for good measure. Stupid rodent!

All at once, you come to your senses. Wait a minute! The squirrel said that your father was in trouble. And that only you could rescue him. And that you had been transformed into a rhino for that purpose. And now... you�ve just crushed the messenger!

Oops.

Written by Funny Animal

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